Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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