my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
