Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
