i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
