We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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