Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
