I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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