Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
