im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
