'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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