I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
