dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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