so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
