Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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