Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
