butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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