Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
