It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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