Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
