o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so let's talk penis.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize