i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
