Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
