I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
