Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
