idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
