stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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