That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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