nut hugger
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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