dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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