I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
