I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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