literally had 100 drinks last night.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
