WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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