You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's intense
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
smell my finger.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
