watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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