Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
