Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
