According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
