the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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