I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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