I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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