I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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