also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
