Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
