You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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