Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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