there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize