where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
