I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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