i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize