How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
