You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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