she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
