he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
