I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
