That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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