So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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